not sure why i'm bothering

i started this blog for god knows what reason. no one even knows this exists. i like that though. i haven't written here in forever. it doesn't feel like its been nearly as long as it actually has been. my beautiful boyfriend is sitting on the edge of the bed eating left over chinese food and he has no idea what i'm typing right now. i love him so much, there arent even words to describe how much. he is such an absolutely amazing man. every inch of him is so beautiful, his smell, the sound of his voice, the sound of his breath, the faint accent he has, the way his lips move when he talks, his tolerance of everything i do. and his heart is bigger than anyone's i know. i envy how ego-less he is. how humble and how thoughtful he can be. i will never know another person in my life who is as amazing, touching, comforting and unbelievably smart as he is. i know that. i am without a doubt the luckiest person alive to be able to wake up next to such an amazing person every morning. i dont know what i did to deserve love like this.